I will not be defined by my disease.

I had a really important decision to make a couple of years ago: to accept disability or to accept admission into Physical Therapy school to earn my DPT. I decided the later. I can always give in and accept my disability but I still have something in me and I did not want to give in. I wanted to challenge myself and so far so good. I have been successful for over 2 years and I hope to remain that way. The fear of flare up haunts me everyday and leaves me to wonder if I made the right decision. A woman that workED at the local public bakery by my house who was in the same situation gave me the advice to think of my son and get on disability in case I past away since we both shared many stories from our health past. Then and there I decided too accept my admission to school. I thought why sit around and wait for death. I am here now and I want to try and live every moment to the fullest. 

Saying that, last week I had another health scare. I had to have a chest X-ray for my new holistic treatment for crohns- hyperbaric oxygen treatment. There were granules in my lungs when i got the results and I thought- oh NO!!! Lung cancer or something horrible from the humira. Then I revisit my thoughts of why I am I even trying??? I toss with this back and forth but my dream is to help people one day and be a great therapist and teacher. I want to be one of the compassionate ones- the good health care provider people talk about. I want to spend time and get to know my patients. People laugh when I say this (not knowing anything about my past) because of losing out on money and having to keep up with turnover rates. Not me.  I have been at a low income status most of my life. I am used to budgeting and having enough NOT more . I can deal with that and get rich in my heart and soul. These feelings are what drive me to keep going. I wanted to write everything down because I have been told I may inspire others and if one person reads this and decides to go after their dream or try and get out of bed then I have succeeded. 

I will be starting hbot 8-18-13 and I will have a diary about it on my blog. I have seen really good research and have high hopes it may heal the Crohn's disease. Ttyl!